Monday, April 27, 2009 dam
9:24 PM

Me and my egg.
My egg and I.

Hello i think i should do a proper post. I got alot of things i wanna type but nawl i shall do a proper post first.



K so friday we went for MLB concert i think i posted abt this already. Lesson learnt, no tube to concert LOL. Met at 7 at eunos, and then to cityhall for shokudo, my egg pasta is yummy. Sy's salmon one was not bad too and xm's potato is tasty. Camwhored alot and i hate it that i look so candid in candids. -.- ahaha btw i was stuck in a dilemma once again. Because we went into hula & co on the way to shokudo, and i saw a very nice grey-pink tube dress and i was suuuuuper tempted to buy it with my week's allowance. But then it's $30 so like if i buy + eat dinner i will only have $10 for the whole week, including cab fares home (already cabbed home today CAUSE OF THE EHADACHE, not anyhow de k). So as i was already deciding to buy, i change my mind and had starbucks instead. Ice white chocolate mocha (?). Weehee. And then the concert proper was rocking. Oh my mama i got so high when they sang 你快乐所以我快乐. Some mroe encore at the end then we were jumping like crazy bitches. Our row only we jump so zz. -.- but aiya nvm. So then we went to the rooftop terrace. Like hey i finally found it, FINALLY, like after so long. I rmb trying to find it since 25th may aaaaaargh. Proves that no fate means really no fate haha! But lol it wasn't very pretty either ~~~ lala i am performing the art of self-consolation ~~~~ but heck yo. Then momma came to fetch me and hooooome we were.

Saturday, went to trim my hair! WALAO I MUST SAY THIS, SATURDAY WAS GREAT HAIR DAY, seriously! :D haha cause the hairdresser help me blow until straight straight. And then went home and got ready for dinner. It was like 5 plus already. And then set off for kaima's house, as usual they were damn slow lah -.- oh we were supposed to go celebrate rocio's bday. So left for Conrad and the buffet there sucked lah so little to eat, i think the dessert even more than the food yo! But lol the salmon was goooood, great. And the toilet was conducive for camwhoring too. ;) waited for everybody to finish and then we went for kbox. Me mel cybil russell rocio. My contacts were. On the verge of drying up and cracking already lah. K-ed till 1230? Haha it's still more fun k-ing with NC! At the very least i dont care even if i zao sia, HEH! :P luuuuuuuuurbs. Went back to kaima's hosue, slept till 10 plus and then lazed and then 12 went for tuition zz! But eh tuition was fine leh. Ms tay make chem sound so easy -.- but lol i agree, by the time olevels come we will be all so b. sick of chem already. Which is good actually.

Today, as i said, pretty much damn sian. The guilt set in again, superglued its ass on me, having trouble removing now z. Those thoughts popped up again i got scared again but LOL i slept woke up watch BWDGX and then i think i'm okay. But lol i still got things to say.

我是个不容易满足的人. But i am easily satisfied too. See so contradicting lah, it's no wonder i'm always stuck -.- k let's put it this way. For the moment, i will be satisfied, and then slowly, because i got what i want already, i will start to want more, and mooooore, and more. Well human nature lah but 未免 too predominant in me le ba? :/ but eh, i believe i was worse last time. Which actually doesn't mean anything lah. The world's damn what lor. If you improve, it will be, Oh 是应该的, what's the big deal. But if you deprove, well people'll see you in bad light, like tsk, no good. Which is! NOT FAAAAAAAAAAIR. Seriously suck yo! K no link lah random. So as i was saying, i am susceptible to greed. Haha chim ba, Mrs Law was our acting english teacher today, ;P

So i've finally got what i wanted yo. Finally. I rmb how much i cursed and swore and sompah-ed that no matter what i will make things better. K it's finally getting better already, i think. Maybe it's too early to judge and maybe it can't be concluded under this kind of conditions when its partly cause of . And i gotta do what i said i would. I AM doing it.

Lol this particular song just played and i suddenly am reminded of KC. Haha working well as a distraction, keeps me occupied fairly enough.

But actually, i wonder what kind of person i actually am. Lol, my inner self and outer self. I really doubt i'm as simple as people think i am. Idk, who knows i might be a scheming slut, with bloody loose morals, selfishly self-centred, blah blah. Maybe it lies deep in me. My own actions, make me see that maybe i'm not such an upright person as i think i am. Hmm, idk! I really wonder, to what extent will i go to to get what i really want, even if i really don't have the wish of harming anybody in the process, and i accidentally do, will i stop? Or continue, just so that i can get what i want. Lol. I said i was susceptible to greed, didn't i? Howell, i think i've been to very very large extents to get what i want in this already, but i know it's too far out there it's not even in my court already. I don't know if i've hurt anybody in the process but aye, i keep bumping into walls, those bruises on me are enough already lor. I think i like to find trouble. Okay not like, i tend to find trouble. 我明明知道 i will get into trouble by doing this, i will still do, because i dont wanna miss the chance if it improves the situation i'm in. And if it doesn't work, i will still keep trying. Try try try try dont know how many million times i still won't believe and try again. Until one fine day when i finally realise, when i finally am enlgihtened, then i will let it go. Stupid right. But howell that's me. Maybe i'm fated to always learn lessons the hard hard rock solid hard way. Very pain but lol, i don't really have a choice huh?

And lol been thinking, i cannot be a government official, this susceptibility to greed of mine will kill me, for sure. Haha i know i am a b. biased person, it's super difficult for me to 公司分明. I WANT to de lor, but most of the times its really 心有余力不足 k. I usually will try to be partial but then that urge to be biased is super overwhelming so i will just succumb to it. Hey it's easier to give in to temptaion than fight it what riggggght. Well but sometimes i can be really gl and purposely be biased. That one, haha purposely so i have no reasons to justify it, :)

Hahaha, okay bye. Super long post ah!